As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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