I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Are we still banned from the library?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
