Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Panties = found
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