Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
