Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So I just went to clothing optional bar
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
