Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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