WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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