ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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