I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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