I'll bet she douches with gravy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
