I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
