Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize