It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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