I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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