We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
