If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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