is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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