Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
