i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Boobs speak an international language.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
