why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
