I molested 6 butterflies tonight
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
