So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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