Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
