I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can you bring me the toilet please
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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