it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
