Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
