I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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