Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
