My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
