Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
