so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
