Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
