lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
