It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
