I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
