ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
