I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
