Got a toothbrush?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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