he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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