He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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