these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
