I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
