It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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