but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
