Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize