you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
