ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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