i don't like sucking hair
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
