So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
