scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Are we still banned from the library?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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