Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
