it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
