69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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