look no pants
This girl is more easily done than said...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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