Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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