so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
