shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize