I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
